This entry is part of the Blog Chain at Absolute Write. This month’s prompt was “rainy days.”
Jake let the bike fall, kicking a cloud of sand up about his ankles. He wanted to curse at the damned thing, to kick it as hard as he could, but Mom wouldn't want him acting that way in front of Dustin. So he just glared at it with clenched fists.
"Grandpa says staring at something don't fix it no faster," Dustin said.
"There ain't gonna be no fixing it this time, dummy. Motor's shot." Jake put a hand up to his brow and took a look at the sun. Lots of daylight left. "How much water you got?"
"Half a bottle still."
"Good. We're hoofing it the rest of the way. We can cut over the dunes, but it's still a long walk, so go easy on what you got." He shouldered the pack of supplies they were running back to town and led the way.
"Grandpa says water used to fall from the sky," Dustin said. "He says it came out of holes in the wall, whenever you wanted. People used to pour it all over themselves just because it felt good."
"Grandpa likes to tell stories. Don't pay 'em no mind. Water comes from tanks and bottles. And if I ever catch you pouring it on your head, it'll be a whooping."
The trudge home was made a little wearier by the fact that Jake knew he likely had a whooping of his own waiting. Mom expressly forbade taking Dustin along on supply runs. Figures the bike would break down the one time he'd actually caved in to the little brat's whining. She'd never believe he was at a friend's house this late. That kid would be the death of him.
~
His feet were just starting to ache when Dustin gave the end of his sleeve a yank. "Jake, look! A baby sand storm!"
He turned around to see a big red cloud of sand moving steadily toward them. When the wind died, he could hear the faint sound of an engine. Maybe this day would be whooping-free after all. "That ain't no storm, dummy. It's a truck. Come on, help me wave it down."
They jogged back onto the path and flailed their arms about until the old flatbed slowed and eased up next to them. The driver was a greasy-looking man with a wiry beard. "What are you kids doing out here on foot?" he said as he rolled the window down.
"Our bike's broke down, sir," Jake said. "If you're headed into town we'd sure appreciate a lift."
"You can ride in back, I suppose. If you got hoods on those rags, keep 'em down unless you want a nose full of sand."
~
That night, Jake went looking for Dustin to remind him to keep their little adventure in the dunes a secret. He found him up on the roof, huddled in a blanket, staring at the night sky.
"Hoping some magic water might fall out of the sky?" Jake asked.
"I'm just stargazing. Mom said I'm grounded in my room until tomorrow. She doesn't know I can get up here from my window though."
"Why'd she say that? You didn't tell her about the run, did you?"
"Nuh-uh. I told her I was at Jenna's. But she still got mad 'cause I'm supposed to call if I stay past five."
"Oh." He lay down and stole a tail of blanket. "Sorry you still got in trouble after all that."
"It's okay. It was worth it." He raised his arm toward the sky and pointed. "Jake, what's the name of that star? The blue one. You're smart about that stuff."
"That ain't actually a star. It's a planet. It's called Earth, I think."
"Grandpa showed it to me the other day. He said people used to live there."
Jake sighed and shook his head. "Like I said, Grandpa likes to tell stories."
Prompts do strange things to me sometimes. I don't know why a prompt about rainy days inspired a story about a Martian desert, but that's what I got. Check out the other bloggers participating in this chain to see what it did to them:
orion_mk3 | Bogna | Ralph Pines | Nissie | Lyra Jean | Domoviye | magicmint | areteus | julzperri
hillaryjacques | AFord | pyrosama | Tomspy77 | ronbwriting | randi.lee | SuzanneSeese | Turndog-Millionaire
hillaryjacques | AFord | pyrosama | Tomspy77 | ronbwriting | randi.lee | SuzanneSeese | Turndog-Millionaire

Ooooo, loved it! I was wondering where it was going when he said "grandpa likes to tell stories" the first time. I never suspected that ending!
ReplyDeleteNice job.
Thanks so much. Honestly, I was wondering where it was going at that point myself!
DeleteWhat a twist. I'm amazed by every ones great stories on these posts
ReplyDeleteMe too, I'm glad to be a part of the blog chain. There are some great writers participating. Thanks for the comment!
DeleteReminds me of the end of a recent game I played. At first I thought it was a post-apocalyptic world, with the stories about how the water used to flow, but if they are recent arrivals to a desert planet then of course all of that would be just a story. I wonder how and why they ended up there which I take it is probably a terraformed Mars if they can see a blue dot Earth in the night sky.
ReplyDeleteYep, it's Mars alright! I'm interested to find out how they got there myself. I may explore this world some more in future stories, it came out of the blue with this prompt.
DeleteOoooo love it, and really like the twist at the end. Quality little story, really had me immersed from the get go
ReplyDeleteGood job!
Matt (Turndog Millionaire)
Thanks so much, Matt!
DeleteExcellent piece of writing...didn't expect the ending; extra bonus points on that! They must be from my home planet, water was a scarcity! (my answer to a question asking what was the most difficult thing I've ever done was "coming to Earth")
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this - great job!
Jenny @ Pearson Report
Co-Host of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.
Twitter: @AprilA2Z
PS - I've added myself as a Follower!
ReplyDeleteMay I be so forward as to suggest rethinking the Word Verification tool. By restricting the access to "who" can view your blog you will eliminate any worries about spammers. Or, you can use the "moderate" mode, which then allows bloggers easy access to commenting but allows you the final say in whether it appears in the comment section.
This will be most important during the Challenge as you will get lots of visitors and WV does discourage commenting.
Cheers, Jenny
I actually thought I had word verification turned off already, thanks for letting me know that wasn't the case.
DeleteI appreciate you stopping by and reading my story! I've followed you back. The A-Z Challenge has me shaking in my boots, but I'm up for it. :)
J.W. - no shaking in your boots allowed! :)
DeleteLast year was my first time doing the A to Z and for what it's worth, I didn't sign up until April 1st...needless to say - I love it! I really enjoyed the creative juices flowing in directions I hadn't imagined. I posted always at midnight...and in those days I didn't know about the pre-scheduling option...so I did lose a bit of sleep.
Long story short, what I'm telling you is...just enjoy the ride! You'd be surprised what comes out of being spontaneous.
And...thanks for Following! :)
Jenny @ Pearson Report
Co-Host of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.
Twitter: @AprilA2Z
Cheers! What a treat--felt like a participant in both scenes--plodding along in the sand and atop the roof admiring the brilliant stars above. Well-done, J.W.-cheers!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading. Glad you liked it!
DeleteThis is great! You had me hooked from the first line. I'm also intrigued about how rainy days could spawn a story about the desert- but like you said, prompts do funny things to people :) Thanks for the great read. I can tell that this is one of those stories I will be returning to read again and again!
ReplyDeleteBest,
R
Wow, thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed it! I love working from prompts for that exact reason. It's always just enough to get the train rolling, but I never have any idea where it's headed.
DeleteExcellent twist, and a nicely defined relationship between the boys. This felt like part of a much larger story, with that world, while also delivering a satisfying arc. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Hillary! It definitely feels like a place I might return to one of these days. I love it when little worlds sprout up that I know I'll want to visit again.
DeleteThanks for reading!
I actually like the Martian desert / rainy days contrast, it just makes it all the more vivid for me. :) Great job!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Nissie! I appreciate you stopping by and giving it a read.
DeleteMars! It's more fun than it looks, and more profitable than Disney movies would lead you to believe :) Very good job.
ReplyDeleteThanks, orion! I love Mars as a science fiction setting, even if it's not as mysterious as it once was when the greats were writing about it.
DeleteYour story held my attention from beginning to end.
ReplyDeleteGreat job!
Thanks, Sue! Glad you liked it!
DeleteThis is damn straight mothereffing good! Very very vivid, the dialog is great, and the depth is wrapped up nicely in a crisp and yummy language. Drenched in description sauce. Like a thick, steaming, delicious short fic taco. Awesome!
ReplyDeleteWow, thanks so much, Vero! I really appreciate you giving it a read, and I'm super glad that you liked it. You know your stuff, so it's high praise coming from you. :)
Delete